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The current year marks a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a partner without a word seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an frequently pointless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Zoomers, a generation who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted assault on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier terrain than their millennial forerunners could ever fathom. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more extensive and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive breakdown to the terms gen Z is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the recent most viral memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – According to Zoomers, dating’s ideal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s reaction is engaged or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding enigma and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This means choosing someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people form a link while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do budget-friendly dating in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits signaling a potential partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners crazy, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions confirm your decision to pursue a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, largely benign quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately kill any feelings of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {